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Embracing Your Story: Finding Beauty in Our Brokenness

Updated: Jan 20



You are a work of art Queen!
You are a work of art Queen!

Hey Beautiful SDH Community,


I've had a lot of intense thoughts and feelings lately that have been unsettling, and I know I'm not alone in that. There's a greater need for connection, community, and accountability within sisterhood. I was watching Karma's World, an amazing cartoon on Netflix, and two statements resonated with me and made me want to throw my offering and shoe. One being, “... and when you lose yourself, we'll be your map.” The other being, “I know I'm awesome, but when I forget, will you remind me?”


How many of us could benefit from a friendly reminder that even after going through hell and back, making mistakes, being mistreated, overlooked, taken advantage of, we are still awesome? The experiences we had didn't devalue us. Quite the opposite; our “life be lifing” moments enhance our worth because we got through them, even if we lost parts of ourselves. The powerful thing about connecting with a community is that we become each other's maps. We help guide each other back to ourselves or away from harmful areas that no longer or never served us.

Today, as we celebrate Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s birthday along with the inauguration of President-Elect Donald Trump, it has stirred up a lot of painful areas in the history of our country as well as in the history of ourselves. Many statements, beliefs, and news outlets have made statements that could be triggering for you—whether it’s regarding deportation, student loans, Black lives, stop and frisk, TikTok, the list goes on. I was intentional with beginning this space today. The number 20 holds special significance—it symbolizes a time of waiting and preparation, as well as the promise of positive momentum, balance, and harmony. While I may not be deeply into numbers, my heart confirmed that this date is the right moment to ignite our collective journey. It's an opportunity to find harmony in our lives and take meaningful steps toward our goals and desires.


As a therapist, I want to share a truth that resonates deeply with all of us: we all face difficult moments throughout our lives that can lead to feelings of shame and insecurity. These feelings, while painful, are part of the human experience. It’s essential to understand that they do not define us. Instead, they can be gateways to healing and self-discovery. Owning your story means embracing every part of yourself, including your struggles and mistakes. When we dare to acknowledge our experiences, we open the door to profound healing and growth.

A beautiful way to illustrate this journey of healing is through the art of kintsugi, a traditional Japanese practice of repairing broken pottery. Rather than disguising the cracks, kintsugi highlights them with gold, transforming broken pieces into something exquisite. This art form teaches us that our flaws and scars can be reshaped into something unique and precious. Just like kintsugi, our experiences—especially the painful ones—add to our beauty and complexity.

I recall a sermon by Bishop T. D. Jakes, where he spoke about an authentic leather jacket marked with imperfections. The associate told him, "the tare represents the authenticity." This idea struck a chord with me—it reminds us that our own "tares" or challenges authenticate our journeys. We all have stories of resilience and struggle; rather than trying to erase them, we can choose to embrace and heal from them. In doing so, we realize that our experiences, much like the cracks in kintsugi, can enhance our worth and beauty.


When we take ownership of our stories, we not only embark on a path of healing for ourselves, but we also create a ripple effect in the lives of those around us, particularly children. They are keen observers, learning from how we navigate our imperfections. When they witness us embracing our flaws and sharing our truths, they understand that it’s okay to be imperfect. They learn the invaluable lessons of resilience and self-acceptance. By prioritizing our healing, we provide our children with a sense of wholeness and love, freeing them from the burdens of our unresolved issues.


Healing is a journey—one that requires patience, self-compassion, and sometimes the support of a therapist or trusted friend. Sharing our feelings of shame can be the first courageous step toward understanding and overcoming them. The more we open our hearts, the more we realize we are not alone. Our stories can inspire others to find their own paths to healing.


Self-Care Exercise:

I invite you to take a moment to reflect on a challenge you’ve faced in your life. Write it down in a journal, allowing yourself to feel the emotions that arise. Then, consider how that experience has shaped you. What lessons have you learned? Finally, decorate the page with colors or drawings that express how you feel about this journey. This exercise will help you see the beauty in your experiences, just like kintsugi pottery.


Takeaway Question:

What part of your story are you ready to embrace and share with others to inspire them?


Mental Nourishment:

A song that resonates profoundly with our discussion is "Scars to Your Beautiful" by Alessia Cara. It beautifully captures the essence of self-acceptance and finding grace in our imperfections. I encourage you to listen to it and watch the video; it’s a powerful reminder of our inherent worth.

As we embrace our stories and recognize the beauty in our cracks, we pave the way for a more fulfilling life. Just like kintsugi pottery, our brokenness can become a source of strength and beauty. Through our healing journeys, we enrich not only our lives but also create a supportive environment for those around us. Let us own our stories, celebrate our imperfections, and shine brightly together.

For those seeking further exploration, I recommend "The Gifts of Imperfection" by Dr. Brené Brown. This memoir invites us to embrace our imperfections and live authentically, helping us cultivate a deeper understanding of self-worth and resilience.


Thank you for allowing me to share this message with you and for being part of this community. I look forward to walking alongside you as we embark on this path together.

I hope it resonates in your heart and inspires you to continue your journey of healing and self-acceptance. I'm looking forward to sharing monthly as that's my personal commitment to me and you. Some months may have an extra as it's on my heart. Just so you know, comments will only be seen and responded to by community members to protect the safe space. If you want to share more but are uncomfortable because your name is attached, consider making a pseudonym until you arrive at the space where you are comfortable.


With warmth and love from your girl and partner in wellness,


Destiny  

Speak Destiny & Heal


I see you healing sis! Check you out in this clip!


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